Who determines how an artist will be remembered? The artist or the viewers?

 

The lingering, overbearing, disappointing, and completely overdone at this point, idea that one must be appealing and maintain a tiny figure is heavy. What do you do when no one can be pleased, and almost everyone hates your "revealing", "rebellious", and "vulgar" actions? Question your every move, thought, or idea..? 

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Absolutely not.

 

You fight, laugh, argue, hiss, riot, and debate against the pressures because differences need to be celebrated and remembered. 

 

Pressing my painted body against paper, canvas, and fabric, everything begins to crease, crinkle, and smear together.  Taking something that was once considered "perfect" is now "unappealing", as some have said – "Why would you do that? You can see the wrinkles and body hair."

 

I do it because it's real. It's me. No editing, no planning, just my body with every dream and imperfection intertwined beyond repair. Simultaneously revealing so much and so little, a portrait of a person can be so liberating. It can also be misleading.

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As I pull the Pressed Portrait away from my body, the urge to create as I feel the paint peel away and dry with every pressing second, grows significantly. "Make another", I say to myself. 

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Realizing that you cannot and should not plan out everything as "perfect" is simply impossible; I know firsthand that you can never please them all. No matter what you expose of yourself.

 

How much does an artist wish to reveal of themselves when no one will see anything but their own desires?

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acrylic paint, gesso, lipstick, and ink on paper and canvas. 2018 - ongoing

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